A question that has been asked as a sarcastic joke between some teammates and I. Our response .. Genesis 1:27, "so God created man in His own image..". As we laugh over our typical Christian answer I begin to think why am I the way I am?
A struggle I've been dealing with this trip is the personality God has given me. I have been given feedback from teammates, that I seek attention from those around me and I come on too strong sometimes. As hard as this is to receive, I have been learning that this feedback is truthful and given out of love.
So why am I the way I am, why did God make me this way if I struggle with it and have so many issues? Struggling with who I am is not a new concept, I have been made aware of flaws in my personality since 8th grade and the question of what's wrong with me has always been in the back of my mind. But if God made us in his image and we are made with a purpose my personality doesn't really have flaws does it? No. I have been made the way I am for a reason, there are struggles but we are a people of a God who is willing to help us through that if we are willing to lean on him and ask for help. So begins the most significant lesson I've learned on my journey:
God made me with a purpose and a reason. I am beautifully and wonderfully made and when I give in to the lies that I am not, I am basically insulting God's creation. I have learned that the personality God has given me doesn't have flaws but just has aspects that I ends help with to honor Him and in order to do that I need to depend fully on God and in this time of learning and growing that I have been in pain and brokenness but I have learned to rest in that and to run towards God and not away from Him and my brokenness. I have learned what it is like to truly seek God in my life and to trust Him with everything.. Literally everything. I have learned what it means to honor God with my thoughts, my words, and my actions. I have been learning what it means to see God in everything, even in tragedy and that He is good in all things. To trust that He has been at work already, He is currently at work, and will continue to be at work when I leave the Philippines.
