I’ve spent 5 weeks already in the Philippines, and I’ve only written one blog so far. I kept telling myself it was because nothing had happened, or that no one would want to read it, but I was really just being lazy.
So much has happened here, not only in the community around Manila, but in myself as well. Our group started doing a bible study, which is the basically the first time I’ve ever done something like this. I’ve always been afraid of speaking my mind, or letting people know what I’m thinking because I’ve just assumed that people don’t want to know. I guess I just convinced myself that it’s easier to assume that and not be surprised when I’m right, than assume that people actually do want to know and find out that they don’t care. But ever since the beginning of this trip, before we even made it to the Philippines, I’ve been told countless times by countless people that I have a voice. My leaders, my friends, and sometimes people I don’t even know have made it clear that I have a strong voice, and that God wants to use it.
I’ve always loved music and singing, and at training camp we sang a song that the worship leader wrote that was about the Lion of Judah and not having fear. One of my friends told me to just let all of my fears go away and just roar like a lion, and let my voice be heard. For me, that was one of the scariest thoughts ever, because I’ve never liked people hearing me sing either. I have since gotten over that fear. Ever since then I’ve felt like my words do have power. Not all of the time, of course, because some of what I say is either sarcastic or me trying to be funny. But in the times when it matters, I have actually found myself having words to say, and not being afraid to share them. No matter how dumb they seem to me, I know that I can speak them in confidence, because I have found my voice in God. I have had the opportunity to lead my team, another team that came here, and help my fellow teammates lead a church service in worship since, and each time it has been easier and easier for me to cast away that fear, and let my voice be heard.
