Every Wednesday and Friday morning I go on a feeding to Angono. In this place there are hundreds of people who have been forced to live under a basketball court due to recent flooding. They live with sheets as walls with little to no privacy. Hardly any comfort. Every time that I go to Angono I visit with the same family with my teammate Jeremy (here is a link to his awesome blog about this family: http://philippines.adventures.org/?filename=7776). The first time I met them I was so utterly broken hearted about the way they have to live. Dirt covers everything, even the precious children. They have no real home. They are so very poor. There is not enough food. They have no bed. I asked the mother if I could hold her 5 month old son. As I held this precious child in my arms I was overcome with how unjust everything was. At 5 months old he could barely hold his head up. He looked malnourished. I wanted so much more for him. I wanted to be able to make everything better.
Its overwhelming to think about all of the many families who are living in these horrid conditions. They have lost their homes, and may not get them back. There isn’t much food to go around. Everything is dirty, smelly, and not at all comforting. They hardly have any money, and they will probably never get out of this level of poverty. It seems like such a hopeless situation.
I left that family for the first time feeling like I couldn’t breathe. The weight of seeing so much poverty was hard to bear. I was angry. I was heart broken. I couldn’t see the reasoning why. I couldn’t see any hope in the situation. That Friday when I went back I was prepared to leave feeling the same way. We met with the family again, and played with the children. Right before we were about to leave though the pastor that went with us asked a few of us to go see a family with him. A world race team had met this family and wanted to help them because the father, JoJo, had a broken leg and couldn’t pay to have it fixed. They sent money with the pastor and we were able to give it to him and then pray over the family. JoJo’s son, Mark Denver, was also in the house and I don’t think he stopped smiling the entire time we were there. He was so happy and full of life. I was able to hold him and laugh with him and share in his joy. In that moment God showed me that He was still in this seemingly hopeless situation, and that His joy was still there. This 10 month old baby reminded me of the hope that we have in Jesus.
Every time that I’ve gone back since I have left feeling full of joy. The things that I’ve seen still aren’t easy, and sometimes I still get angry and upset, but God has taught me to look to Him in these situations. He is still good. He is still in control. He is still love, joy, and peace. These beautiful characteristics of Him don’t change in bad situations. And I can find so much joy in that.
And God keeps showing me His joy. Last week when Jeremy and I went to see “our family” the children were full of a joy I had not yet seen in them. With every time that we came to see them they would start to warm up to us a little because they recognized us, but they still were pretty guarded. For whatever reason, that day they were ready to let us in. We walked them to get the food with smiles on all of our faces and a lot of laughter. Then when we got back to their “house” Jeremy and I were able to just sit there and play with them. We laughed and giggled until our bellies hurt. They were so full of life and joy. It was so incredible to see the transformation in them. Jeremy and I left them and went and talked to a few other families, and then we went back to the van to leave. There are always a ton of kids shouting and playing around the van, but the kids from “our family” never came out to play; until that day. The oldest, Angelica, saw me and ran straight to me. We danced around and were silly together. She then lifted her hands to me to hold her, and she snuggled into my neck. This precious girl had no reason to let me in, but she did. And that right there shows me so much of Jesus’ hope, love, and joy. This beautiful, deaf, Filipino child has forever changed my heart.
